i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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