sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
