I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
