it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize