Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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