the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pants are for mortals
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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