I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
