I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just had sex on a roof
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
