): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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