Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
