all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
where are my pants?
in the oven.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
