I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
