I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I died a long time ago.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize