Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
