:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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