i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
