5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
