If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
