I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
