Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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