oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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