does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's the barista slut.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
