Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
