Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
