wat bout pragnant strippers??
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
