one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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