Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
