Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She bit a glass in half.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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