I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My vagina just clenched in fear
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
