tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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