$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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