Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
