Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
