I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
