Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
