So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
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im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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