and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
