I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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