oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I AM VODKA MAN
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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