im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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