bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
