i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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