Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
