Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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