a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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