I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
