I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Rumble strips road head = magical
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
