i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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