Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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