The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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