I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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