If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
