i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
babies were throwing up all over the place
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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