the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
