So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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