The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
