No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize