I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Quick, to the slutcave!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
