Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My feet surprised me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
