The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just forgot I was standing up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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