Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
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My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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