PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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